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Relationships and vulnerability
The following
are some common problems in relationships that could lead to persistent difficulties:
- Fears of being known and
exposed
- Fears of being vulnerable
and then rejected
- Being afraid to leave what
is familiar
- Feeling undeserving of
love and then finding people who can't love
- Giving more than receiving
- Feeling afraid to express
critical angry feelings, and as a consequence not being able to trust
one's authentic self to emerge in a relationship
Many people
suffer from fears of intimacy. People who suffer from persistent relationship
problems are often fearful of intimacy and being vulnerable.
In the past they may have been emotionally deserted, or may have lost
a significant person due to death or abandonment. In relationships they
find themselves giving more and receiving less. Ironically the unconscious
goal is to repeat rather than remember the primary source of frustration,
hurt, and abandonment. It is far better to be rejected again than to trust
loving and being loved, and then feel like a fool when love is not returned.
On the other hand, how can a mutual loving relationship be possible if
one does not risk loving, and take the chance on feeling a fool?
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works.
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